My father really cracks me up sometimes.

A long, long time ago. Well, relatively long when you consider I'm only 26, my parents got a coal furnace. This was back when coal was cheaper than oil. Well, over the years that changed, and my father got more and more out of shape and was not up to the task of shoveling coal into the fire with regularity. Well, this year he's in the best shape I can remember him ever being in. It's also been fucking cold. We've had a coal bin in the basement, mostly full for as long as I can remember. We haven't used it in years. My father figured he would supplement the heating of the house with the coal furnace thereby using the coal taking up space in the basement and also decreasing oil consumption. He just ran out of coal last week and I figured that was the end of it. I should've realized by now how my father gets when he has a 'project'. It's the combo of my father's obsessive nature and my mother's media savvy that's made me into the fan I am today. He just told me he received delivery on three tons of coal. I asked him why, since his stated intention was to use up what he already had. His answer: "Can't help myself. I'm having too much fun."

Going over later to help him move tables at church and steal the good suitcase for Escapade.

Ha!

Few things are funnier than Ephram Brown walking down the hall doing the strut of the recently devirginized.