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So, Broadway's Best has been playing some songs from the new Sweeney Todd movie. And...I just can't deal with it. It's just so banal and average! I can't take it. I can't listen to any of it for more than half a minute without wanting to weep for how awesome this movie could've been if they'd fucking cast the right people. The only stand out is Alan Rickman and even he can't elevate the utter mediocrity of the rest of the cast.
So, last year when I went to New York I bought BC/EFA's annual Carols for a Cure CD. Included in the collection was a very amusing and really rather touching song by the cast of an off-Broadway musical called [title of Show]. I'd never heard of it, so when I got home I checked out the samples on itunes, bought it, and promptly forgot all about it. Well, I finally got around to listening to it and it is F-ing hilarious. It's truly the theater geek's musical (seriously. one of the songs is interrupted in the middle for an argument about whether or not you can rhyme 'sweeter' with 'theater'). It's a musical about two guys trying to write a musical about two guys writing a musical. So here's a link to the album: hxxp://www.megaupload.com/?d=M12RNJZT
Where you will hear lines like:
Broadway.com? Broadway.com can kneel down, open its online mouth, and suck my fucking cock.
and:
Are we writing for art?
And is art a springboard for fame?
And will fame get us a sitcom?
And will a sitcom get us on Ellen?
And will Ellen get folks to like us?
and:
Wow! So movies make good musicals?
Well, they make musicals.
and:
I can't decide if you're trying to be Ben Vereen or Randy Newman.
Shut up!
and:
Writing should be easy. Like a monkey driving a speedboat.
and:
But a Tony Award joke is too easy. It's like making a joke about Les Miz, or Phantom of the Opera.
Fine. We won't put it on the CD.
and:
At least I know that my nose could take her nose in a cage match of noses.
and:
There are some people in the world who say that writing stories or composing music, or dancing sparkly dances is easy for them. Nothing interferes with their ability to create. While I celebrate their creative freedom, a little part of me wants to punch those mother fuckers in the teeth.
and:
You have a story to tell.
A novel you keep in a drawer.
You have a painting to paint.
But you're lazy like an old French whore.
and:
And when Bock and Harnick wrote Tenderloin they were taking a risk to write a show about whores.
and many many more funny lines.
Where you will hear lines like:
Broadway.com? Broadway.com can kneel down, open its online mouth, and suck my fucking cock.
and:
Are we writing for art?
And is art a springboard for fame?
And will fame get us a sitcom?
And will a sitcom get us on Ellen?
And will Ellen get folks to like us?
and:
Wow! So movies make good musicals?
Well, they make musicals.
and:
I can't decide if you're trying to be Ben Vereen or Randy Newman.
Shut up!
and:
Writing should be easy. Like a monkey driving a speedboat.
and:
But a Tony Award joke is too easy. It's like making a joke about Les Miz, or Phantom of the Opera.
Fine. We won't put it on the CD.
and:
At least I know that my nose could take her nose in a cage match of noses.
and:
There are some people in the world who say that writing stories or composing music, or dancing sparkly dances is easy for them. Nothing interferes with their ability to create. While I celebrate their creative freedom, a little part of me wants to punch those mother fuckers in the teeth.
and:
You have a story to tell.
A novel you keep in a drawer.
You have a painting to paint.
But you're lazy like an old French whore.
and:
And when Bock and Harnick wrote Tenderloin they were taking a risk to write a show about whores.
and many many more funny lines.
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gblvr
How to play:
1. Have your music library ready.
2. Choose one song from your music library whose title starts with the first letter (or number) of your screen name.
3. Repeat this process with each successive letter (or number) in your screen name until you run out of letters (or numbers).
4. Post up your results.
5. BONUS POINTS: Upload your mix (whether it's individual songs or a .zip of all the the songs) and include the mix in your post.
(I don't even have one song that starts with 6 letalone three, so I picked some songs that were track 6 on the CDs they were ripped from)
Beautiful-Christina Aguilera
Right Outta Nowhere-Christine Kane
A Part of That-Sherie Rene Scott
Knights of the Round Table-from Spamalot
6-Bless the Lord-Shoshana Bean
6-Touch Me-from Spring Awakening
6-The Internet is for Porn-from Avenue Q
The songs:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F9RNJV5D
gblvrHow to play:
1. Have your music library ready.
2. Choose one song from your music library whose title starts with the first letter (or number) of your screen name.
3. Repeat this process with each successive letter (or number) in your screen name until you run out of letters (or numbers).
4. Post up your results.
5. BONUS POINTS: Upload your mix (whether it's individual songs or a .zip of all the the songs) and include the mix in your post.
(I don't even have one song that starts with 6 letalone three, so I picked some songs that were track 6 on the CDs they were ripped from)
Beautiful-Christina Aguilera
Right Outta Nowhere-Christine Kane
A Part of That-Sherie Rene Scott
Knights of the Round Table-from Spamalot
6-Bless the Lord-Shoshana Bean
6-Touch Me-from Spring Awakening
6-The Internet is for Porn-from Avenue Q
The songs:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F9RNJV5D
Tags:
.
